I dropped off Gadget Girl this morning at Mother’s Day Out, and had to stop to fuel up because the “Fuel Low” indicator will not go off no matter how many times I swear at it. It’s almost like a game of roulette these days when it comes to filling up. $50 or maybe $75, who knows? Well, imagine my surprise when the pump stopped exactly at $60. The semi-laugh I muttered at how cool that was was almost enough to make me forget about about how I just got raped at the pump. At 20 mpg, that $60 lasts me just under 7 hours of driving time. What a freakin’ deal. I seriously need to dump this vehicle.
As I drove home, I passed a facility that I interviewed with as a senior in college. I wanted so desperately to work there, and they didn’t hire me. I remember that the plant manager was new, and he took me to eat at the country club. Everything was so fancy, and I felt like I was able to become a part of a world I had never known yet always wanted to be a part of. I realize now that country club dinners are probably more a part of his world than his worker bees, but I had eyes as big as pie plates back then.
I’ve been a WAHM now for almost a year now, and I’m not sure if it’s for me. I like staying home with my daughter, but I relish the two days a week that I get to myself. Wait, maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I just like the idea of staying home with my daughter.
I knew that if I stayed home that we would have to cut back. I think that this house we’re building has almost turned into a monster that I can’t control. I have no idea how we’re going to stay within the budget we created for it. We also didn’t realize that SpyDad commuting an hour to work each way was going to cost us about $1000/month in fuel. That’s a tough pill to swallow.
So, as I passed the facility today, I thought, “What if they just had a secretary job, anything, hell I don’t even care anymore?” I just checked their website, and they have one job listed. It’s a job similar to what I worked for four years, and a job I enjoyed. They didn’t give me enough to do back then, I realize, so I started a blog and screwed off a lot during the day. I still feel a little guilty about it. This job requirement has all of my former duties plus the duties I was hoping they would have given to me at my old job. I’m somewhat qualified for it, and I’m thinking about applying.
The problem is that SpyDad wants me to stay home. I’m just not really sure that I want to stay home. Crap, why do I do this to myself?
