1. I’ve been married for five years to SpyDad.
2. I used to have a blog all about GadgetGirl until I gave it up.
3. I miss it.
4. But I missed her more.
5. I spent the first 23 years of my life studying math and science, and the rest learning to paint, play the violin, and take pictures.
6. It’s my dream to work at home and have my own photography studio.
7. But I’m too chickenshit.
8. For now.
9. I hate the mommy blogger wars.
10. It’s bullshit.
11. Women need to spend less time bitching and moaning about each other and more time actually getting to know and befriend other women.
12. It’s the only way we’ll ever keep and/or regain respect as individuals.
13. In high school I smoked cigarettes for a few months because my oh-so-not-cool boyfriend did. I can’t hardly stand to be around smoke anymore because my lungs close up.
14. My grandmother died when I was 14 of lung cancer.
15. I fear the same for my mother.
16. I love it when bloggers reveal their true selves through writing.
17. I believe it’s possible to know a person you’ve never met better than your own best friend.
18. That’s why I believe it’s here to stay.
19. I just had a cricket jump up on my neck.
20. I hate crickets.
21. Jumpy bastards.
22. I used to love reality TV, but now I can’t stand it.
23. In fact, I can’t stand most TV now.
24. Except Grey’s Anatomy, which effin rocks.
25. I used to think that about ER.
26. It’s time for ER to die.
27. I loved to watch a show called “neat” on Discovery Home before I got rid of our digital cable.
28. Cause I’m cheap like that.
29. I’m interested in voluntary simplicity.
30. Because I’m interested in having more money in the bank.
31. What, you aren’t?
32. I grow a garden almost every year in a 4 foot wide by 20 foot long plot.
33. It always gets away from me.
34. Does anybody need some cucumbers?
35. Don’t ask me why I planted cucumbers this year.
36. It’s been over a year since I’ve eaten one.
37. When I was ten, I told people that I wanted to become President.
38. Adults thought it was cute.
39. I no longer want to become President.
40. It scares me to think that I want to do something different than what I studied in college.
41. I obviously have a hard time deviating from the rules.
42. I was getting groceries the other day, and I noticed that some of my items had punctured a hole in the top of a yogurt.
43. I threw it in the trash when the cashier wasn’t looking.
44. It felt good.
45. Much better than 15 minutes prior to that moment when I did the splits after slipping in a spill in the rice aisle.
46. Part of me wished I had broken a leg so I could sue.
47. I blame the pain.
48. I have never been sued or sued anybody.
49. Thank God for that.
50. I am a Christian.
51. I am a bad Christian because I don’t recruit very well.
52. I don’t like it when others knock on my front door to tell me about their religion and recruit me, so why should I do the same to others?
53. I am constantly questioning.
54. That’s one thing my career choice has taught me. There’s always a better way, a simpler way, a way that makes more sense.
55. I used to love my job.
56. Four months of being laid off and two weeks of severance pay will do that to you.
57. Now I just long to be at home splashing in the kiddie pool, going to the zoo, or eating an ice cream cone with GadgetGirl.
58. I love that kid.
59. I fear that I will drive her away by disciplining her too much.
60. I want one more kid, and then I’ll be done.
61. I don’t think I can handle a third C-section.
62. If I get the baby bug after that, I’ll adopt.
63. I cry every time I see news reports about children waiting to be adopted.
64. I want to take them all home with me.
65. I am a sucker.
66. Once I saw a car tag with “RIP 666″ and it wasn’t a vanity plate.
67. Yikes.
68. My favorite things are cheesecake and pasta.
69. If I had to choose, I’d pick gummy worms over chocolate.
70. I need to lose weight.
71. I’m not into dieting, but I’ve tried Adkins. It sucks.
72. I did Weight Watchers for 10 sessions and lost 7 pounds. I think it’s for me.
73. I’m just to cheap to pay $40 a month for it.
74. I wish I liked to exercise more.
75. Lately I’ve been thinking that if I could create a mommy and toddler workout video that I’d be rich beyond my wildest dreams.
76. If it involved belly dancing, my husband would buy twenty copies.
77. I drive an SUV that gets 18 mpg.
78. I used to do energy audits for businesses when I was in college.
79. I’ve always wanted a car that gets 40 mpg or more.
80. But I’m too scared to drive it.
81. I’ve been in one 2 mile per hour fender bender at a stop light, one swirly doughnut on ice, and one hydroplane into a sign and down a ditch.
82. I was the driver in that last one.
83. I fear that I’ll die in a huge car wreck.
84. Several months ago I almost slammed into the back of a stopped white minivan. I knew I didn’t have time to stop, and saw that the oncoming lane was clear of traffic, so I jerked to the left and finally stopped. When I looked over, I was looking into the face of the other driver.
85. About a month after that, I was driving in the fast lane on a four lane highway when I saw a car careening across the median towards me. The car behind the car following me T-boned him.
86. We have three dogs.
87. That’s about three too many.
88. I’ve met five bloggers in real life.
89. It’s been a blast.
90. If you ever get the chance to meet me, I’m really not a five hundred pound man who loves cheeseburgers and long walks in the rain.
91. But I’m close.
92. I used to want to be a comedian when I was in middle school.
93. I’d watch raunchy comedies on cable all afternoon and night.
94. That makes me wonder how I got where I am now.
95. If I make a joke, good or bad, it’s okay to laugh or nervously chuckle.
96. I’d rather leave my past where it is.
97. But I have a lot of trouble doing that.
98. I put way too much thought into this blog.
99. I hope you like it.
100. Well, what do you know? I made it.
